So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
