I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
When did angry sex become our thing?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
