if i can run in heels then i can drive
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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