dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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