Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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