I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
