I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
