the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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