So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
