she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
