I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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