Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
