I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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