Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
