I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
