Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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