I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
