the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I feel like abortions should bother me more
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
its liver damage thursday
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
