hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
