Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
