great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Floor bacon is actually really good
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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