I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm passing your future prison.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
