Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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