I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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