Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
