I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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