i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
