Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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