Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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