Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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