I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
