Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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