This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
