I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
