hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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