I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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