we were pretty classy up until the second keg
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
