Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
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