I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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