you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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