I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize