I need to stop coming to work sober
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
