Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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