and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
