If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
