apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
