Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
