wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
