I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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