it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Reggie can tackle my bush.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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