I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
