I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm passing your future prison.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
